So I read the headlines: “평양에 18cm 많은 눈” (18cm of Snow in PyongYang). Being the lazy American I am, rather than dividing that number by 2.54 to figure out what that means in measurements any average ‘Murrc’n would understand, I googled it. Apparently, google likes to return sites suggesting ‘Murrc’ns should grow extremities to that size.
What would Juche Girl have to say about extremities?

Dear Leader distributed arms and legs to who needed arms and legs and when Dear Leader had finished distributing arms and legs all the people who had missing arms and legs did not miss one arm or leg no longer! Bush can’t do that but Dear Leader can.

Sweet! It’s not just snowin’, it’s raining arms and legs, because the Dear Leader is passing out them extremities! Sad to think that we are coming up close to the one-year mark since he passed away. So if you were in charge with organizing the commemoration shin-dig, what would you do? Fire off a missile?. Erect $11-million dollars worth of statues? I don’t know, some people couldn’t care enough. Is it because people haven’t eaten enough to muster up energy to cheer up for the launch? Sooner or later, this missile stuff has got to get old. Eventually, you’re going to have to follow the Chinese cue and work up a crowd with some good-old Nationalist Patriotic ferver!

But not to fear, luckily, the World Food Program’s Food assistance to the North has returned to October levels, which is especially good, since grain imports from China fell by 62% that very month. Now if only people could have enough coal to warm their homes.